Page Background Image
Band page background image

We are what we is, and we make no apologies for it. We respect and admire the work, talents and legacy of Frank Zappa, and try not to balls up his music too much when attempting to play it.

Baby, take your teeth out, and relax as we introduce you to the Burgers...

Simon - Bass Guitar
Si is the idiot that started all these shenanigans way back when iPod's were cool. He has been known to spank his plank so hard that other people get splinters. He also lays down grooves so deep they deliver fresh water to far-off continents.

Julian - Lead Guitar & Vocals
The first recruit, Big Jay carries the ginger gene so obviously that it's easy to miss. A veteran of some vintage, J can also be fonud moonlighting with ex-Nine Below Zero / Yardbirds harpsmith Billy Miskimmin's Mercy Lounge. He also does impressions, although most of them are banned on grounds of common decency.

Darren - Vocals & Stuff
Moist and tender, Darren has been known not to sweat on very rare occasions. No matter how many times he hears a swanee whistle, he will always laugh. He is always perplexed by the question: But Who Was Fulcanelli*, and has never got the hang of Thursdays.

Phil - Lead Guitar & Vocals
Phil has been wrong at least twice in his life. The first 25 years were probably the wrongest - the last few have been mildly incorrect. He plays guitars that are mostly made of wood and carved by his own hand. Much like his amps.

Adam - Drums
Adam is blind. Yes folks, you read that correctly, and he can't. We always treat him with the respect he deserves, which tends to land us right in it with the P.C. Brigade. He can often be found cracking eggs on the backs of unemployed dental floss salesmen.